How to Choose Your Vows

There’s no more emotional aspect of a wedding than the vows you’ll exchange. Your guests will hang on your every word, waiting eagerly to hear you speak your commitment to your spouse in lines you’ve chosen especially for the occasion. With this much significance, putting your heart and soul into written form can be challenging, especially if writing isn’t your strong suit. There are plenty of existing vows that can be adapted for any wedding that will work wonderfully with just a few additions to capture your personal details. But if you’re looking for a special reading specific to your ceremony, how do you know what to include, what to leave out, and how to choose just the right words to express exactly what you feel? Here are a few helpful suggestions to get you started.

  1. Make Them Personal—Consider your truest emotions for the occasion and write them in plain language as a love letter to your partner. How does this person make you feel? What made you fall in love with them and choose them as a forever partner? What do you hope to experience them as the years unfold? If you speak your heart, no matter what ends up on the page, your vows will be sweet, sincere, and genuine.
  1. Make Them Poetic—If you’re a fan of poetry, you can choose a few lines or a whole verse from a favorite poem that properly expresses your feelings. If you’ve never explored the idea of poetry as vows, research classic and contemporary romantic poets to see what their work offers. And if you’re truly daring, why not try putting your own thoughts in poem form? It doesn’t need to rhyme to be poetry; it just needs to express what you feel poetically.
  1. Make Them Original—If you have a friend or family member who happens to be a writer, why not enlist their help in creating something special and new that says exactly what you’re feeling? You can conduct an interview or have a conversation about what you want to include. Give them all the notes they need, then let them work their magic to make your thoughts sing. Not only will you create something special together, you’ll have a wonderful memento to commemorate your special day. You can even have them printed and framed and present them to your partner as a beautiful bride or groom gift!
  1. Make Them Authentic—No matter which direction you choose, make sure your vows come from your heart and not just from the expectations of others. These are your personal thoughts about your loved one, and you are free to decide what they should be. Even if they end up being three simple lines about your devotion and dedication, you’ll have created the perfect vows for your ceremony. 

And if all else fails…

  1. Make Them Traditional—There’s nothing wrong with choosing classic, traditional vows for your ceremony. Even if they’ve been written by someone else and used in weddings other than yours, as long as they resonate with you, they’ll be perfect. You can investigate the possibilities online to find something unique or go with beloved phrasing from Biblical or spiritual text. Your minister or officiant can offer some suggestions if nothing speaks to you. Be sure to ask for their assistance.

There are unlimited ways to speak your love in the form of wedding vows. Whether you go with a contemporary twist, choose a love poem that everyone will recognize and swoon over or opt for a thoroughly traditional set of familiar, loving vows, the fact that you’ve taken the time to choose them yourself will add the personal touch that makes your wedding unique to you. And you’re sure to set your loved one’s heart aflame all over again when they hear you speak of the depth of your love and adoration for them. And that’s what your vows are all about!