By Samantha Iacia

Finding The One isn’t always about red roses and fancy dates—and that’s perfectly okay! Here are the mundane, unromantic (but equally important) signs that someone is your soulmate.

Anyone who’s been in a long-term relationship knows that while it’s important to keep the romance alive, it’s the little day-to-day things that really help solidify your bond. That’s where these unexpected signs that someone is your soulmate come into play—and we’re not talking about butterflies, expensive gifts, or grand professions of love, even though they certainly don’t hurt when it comes to showing someone how much you care. Instead, there are other clues that can indicate a one-of-a-kind connection to let you know if you’ve found your soulmate (but if you’re already thinking you have, then you probably don’t need us to tell you). 

KEEP READING FOR EIGHT BORING—BUT MAJOR—SIGNS THAT SOMEONE IS YOUR SOULMATE. 

THEY GET ON YOU ABOUT STAYING HEALTHY. 

Whether it’s motivating you to drink more water, bugging you about scheduling a follow-up appointment with your dentist, or intervening before you eat a whole box of cookies by yourself during a Netflix binge, it could be a sign that someone is your soulmate if they’re pushing you to stay healthy. This is because they want to keep you around for the long haul—and they’re not afraid to challenge your bad habits if it means helping you become your best, healthiest self. As long as you’re not feeling forced into changing who you truly are, we’d call this a win-win. 

YOU TRUST THEM TO DO YOUR LAUNDRY AND OTHER CHORES.

Doing someone else’s laundry is an oddly intimate thing, right? But if your partner doesn’t mind sorting through your dirty clothes to save you the trouble of doing it yourself (and you’re not embarrassed about your smelly workout tops that have been collecting odors in the hamper), it’s a strong sign that your relationship has reached a deeper level. Whether it’s sorting your laundry a specific way, buying avocados at the perfect ripeness level, or putting the throw pillows in the proper order after making the bed, letting your partner handle tasks that you’d otherwise be picky about means that you feel in-sync with each other and trust your partner enough to know your nuances. For any self-proclaimed control freaks out there, this is major—and if your S.O. actually takes the time to pair up your socks after they come out of the dryer, you’re headed for eternal soulmate bliss. 

THEY’VE EXPERIENCED YOUR SSB (SECRET SINGLE BEHAVIOR) AND DIDN’T RUN FOR THE HILLS. 

In the words of Carrie Bradshaw, everyone has an SSB, otherwise known as your “Secret Single Behavior.” Basically, this is anything you do at home that you’d never do in front of anyone else—especially a significant other—for fear of embarrassing yourself. But if your partner has witnessed things like your strange skincare routine (microneedling for the sake of better collagen? sure!), unconventional midnight snacking habits, or your threadbare but unbelievably comfortable sleep t-shirts and didn’t bat an eye, they’re probably a keeper.  

YOU’VE SURVIVED A ROAD TRIP TOGETHER.

Cruising down the open road with your S.O. seems idyllic at first—you’ve got your playlists, your snacks, and you’re ready for an adventure to somewhere new (preferably with plenty of Instagrammable moments along the way). But inevitably, there are probably going to be a few bumps along the way. Flash forward to about six hours into your 20-hour journey, when you’ve been sitting in the same cramped position for hours, one of you is tired of driving, and you can’t agree on windows up or down. No matter how much you and your partner love each other, being confined in such a small space can amplify even the silliest of disagreements, simply because there’s nowhere else for either of you to go. Arguing with each other doesn’t mean that you aren’t meant to be—in fact, successfully recovering from a disagreement with your partner can actually help strengthen your relationship over time. If you’ve had a less-than-romantic road trip with your partner and lived to tell the tale, it’s a good indicator that you’ll be able to handle similarly tense situations in the future.

THE TWO OF YOU ACTUALLY DON’T AGREE ON EVERYTHING.

It takes courage to speak your mind sometimes, especially in the game of love when emotions are at stake. That’s why in newer relationships, it’s not uncommon for people to hold back certain thoughts, behaviors, and beliefs until they feel more comfortable revealing themselves. While it’s important to be aligned with your partner when it comes to the bigger picture (life goals, children, etc.), you should also remember that you’re still two individuals—and that it’s okay to see things differently from time to time. Soulmates often help each other to feel complete, meaning your partner might have opposite traits that balance out your own. In the end, if you feel respected and mature enough to butt heads with your partner occasionally—and you still love each other when all is said and done—it’s a good sign that someone is your soulmate. 

YOUR BOND HAS PLAYFUL QUIRKS THAT NO ONE ELSE UNDERSTANDS.

Maybe you’ve made up code names for your weird relatives, or maybe you have your own language comprised entirely of emojis. Whatever your relationship quirks are, creating “secret” habits as a couple or doing something silly with your partner that would make zero sense to the outside world means that you’ve been able to accept and connect with each other in a way that no one else can. 

THEY’RE KINDA FORGETFUL, EXCEPT WHEN IT COMES TO YOUR RELATIONSHIP.

Outside of your relationship, your partner could have the worst memory in the world. But if they’re constantly surprising you by recalling little things that have happened throughout your relationship, it’s one of the biggest signs that someone is your soulmate. We’re not just talking about remembering birthdays and major milestones—a soulmate will have (consciously or subconsciously) made mental notes about all of the little things, too, like the first texts you sent to each other or the moment they knew they were in love.  

YOU JUST FEEL SAFER AND AT EASE WHEN THEY’RE AROUND.

Soulmates are called soulmates for a reason. The connection you have with each other is capable of going beyond any physical presence so that even when you’re not actually together, you’re still experiencing a strong bond. Some people believe that soulmates find each other because they share the same energy, and when you’re with your partner, your energies balance each other. This explains why you probably feel calm simply by sitting next to your S.O. on the couch and why you might feel unsettled when you’ve been apart from each other for too long.